Tribute to a best friend

From right to left: Moeez, Maahir, Murad and Mikail

The day Maahir called up Moeez and told him that he  was his best friend Moeez was over the moon. Now if If you ask Moeez who is his best friend he will say “Maahir”.

Reality is that Maahir is Moeez’s younger brother Murad’s close friend. Moeez who is older to both boys by two years (he is 18 yrs) is my eldest son and is on the spectrum.He like most children with autism has great difficulty in forging relationships with his peers. According to him, “I want to make friends but I just don’t know how”. Despite years of social skills training he still suffers from extreme challenges in this area. According to Moeez, Murad falls under the category of a sibling, therefore he cannot be a friend. Then how come Maahir fit the bill?

Maahir is a close family friend’s son who has grown up with my boys. He is a sensitive and loving child and as far back as I can remenber has gone the extra mile to show Moeez genuine affection and sensitivity. Moeez has been a part of almost every playdate between Maahir and Murad without any objection from either boy. In fact at times, Moeez is the one who has to be compelled to join in as according to Maahir, “It’s not the same without him”.

The truth is that during the playdates Moeez rarely initiates an activity. He will engage with the boys at will and withdraw from them similarly. There have been days that he has shown complete lack of interest and has to be coaxed to be a part of a game or a conversation. However, his erratic behaviour has never had an impact on Moeez’s relationship with Maahir who is as caring and embracing as always.

My wish is that for every child with special needs, there is a Maahir out there as his/her best friend and a Murad as his/her brother.